The Intimacy Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

However when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that much of Read Full Report his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city important site areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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