The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very visit this page close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going Click Here to be great?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To find this prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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