The Sex Snare, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. read the full info here Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a number of his clients i loved this have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication Bonuses wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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