The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, visit our website love, nearness, and wellness .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay males want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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