The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess Read More Here it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay males desire to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your navigate to this site heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar